Jodie hit out at insensitive remarks made to cancer sufferers
“People just don’t get it. Unless you’re in that situation, people just don’t understand.”
On good days when she feels well, Jodie said she goes out and tries to live life to the full – but she says it’s difficult to strike the balance.
“It changes every day, I can wake up and want to run a marathon, but other days I can wake up and think: ‘Am I going to die today?’
“On a three times weekly basis I get these comments and it makes me feel bad.”
She said she no longer spoke to people who had sent her unkind messages.
“I’ve just had to have a no policy now, because I was sat there feeling really guilty and awful about it,” she explained .
“It did really get to me – thinking maybe I should just man up, maybe I am being weak, but then I’m thinking: ‘I’ m sat there on chemo, drugged up, still working ‘. “
She is battling a brain tumor and bone cancer(Image: Darren Quinton / Birmingham Live)
Jodie also shared an astonishing and eye-opening rant about the things she believes should never be said to cancer patients – based on comments she had received.
In aFacebook
And she explained how even well-meaning comments, such as “you’re so brave” and “if anyone can beat this, you can”, could be considered offensive, too.
This was her post following a series of insensitive comments after being diagnosed with a brain tumor aged just (****************************************************************************.
1. “That’s a good cancer to have”
There are no good cancers. There are definitely some which respond better to treatment than others, and I’m allowed to observe that as the patient, but you are not. Please don’t tell me how lucky I am. I may not be in the humor to hear that. Brain tumors are the biggest killer in adults – FYI.
2. “Do you just get headaches then?”
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(************************************************************************** – year-old was told to ‘man up’ by her pals
Yeah it is EXACTLY like your hangover, might as well just smash some paracetamol and BANG the magic headache is gone.
3 . “I’ve always wanted to shave my head”
Losing your hair to chemo is not the same as shaving your head because you thought Natalie Portman looked cool in V for Vendetta.
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(******************Jodie (center) ) was a beneficiary of Tracey’s Dream, which was set up by Curtis Pugh (left) and Stephen Pugh (right)(Image: BPM Media)
4. “You look like Sinead O’Connor!”
No, I don’t.
5). “We didn’t think you’d be up for it”
Don’t assume we’re not able to do things just because we have cancer. Keep inviting us to stuff. Sometimes we won’t be up for it, but sometimes we will, and we desperately need to leave the house.
6. “You’re so brave”
We know you mean well when you say this, but we don’t feel brave. Bravery is something that happens when someone chooses to take on something scary. We don’t have a choice.
7. “Have you tried …?”
Unless you have a piece of advice so stellar that you think we literally can’t go on without it, please don ‘t make suggestions about our treatment. Yes, eating kiwis may be an effective way of combating constipation in your everyday life, but if the industrial strength medical grade laxatives an actual doctor have prescribed for me aren’t working, then adding more fruit to my diet probably won’t either.
8. “If anyone can beat this, you can.”
The former hair model is no longer friends with her the ‘pals’ who told her to ‘f *** off’
Because the people who die as a result of cancer did not fight hard enough?
9. “Remember, there’s always someone worse off than you.”
So helpful.
(**************************************************************************************. “I know how you feel”
No, you don’t.
(*************************************************************************************. “At least you’ll have loads of time free.”
I am not on holiday. I have taken time off work because dealing with cancer is literally a full-time job.
(************************************************************************************. “My Uncle / Friend / Pet had a brain tumor, they died.”
That’s great, thank you for scaring the s *** out of me.
14. “You’re young you’ll be fine.”
Yeah four strokes, paralysis and a brain tumor later sounds exactly ‘fine’ for a 90 – year-old.
(**********************************************************************************. “You shouldn’t be drinking.”
Are you my oncologist? Do you know what medication I am on or treatment? Do not tell me what I can and can’t do, especially in front of people whilst I have a drink in my hand and try and make me look like ad ******.
(********************************************************************************. “You gonna die then?”
**************************Tracey’s Dream takes cancer patients to a caravan with their families for a free holiday(Image: Darren Quinton / Birmingham Live)
Just no. This is not a question you ever ask somebody. Unless they offer their prognosis, don’t go there. You will know their prognosis if you need to know.
17. “You should just smoke weed and stop your tablets.”
S *** why didn’t I think of this earlier? Can’t believe I go through hours and hours of IV that has skull and crossbones on it saying POISON going into my blood for funsies when I could have just had a joint! Silly me!
. “You’re going to the toilet a lot aren’t you?”
Yes, thank you for pointing out my toilet habits in public. I’m sorry I don’t have control over my own bladder and have to set alarms every hour so I don’t wet myself at 90. I’m not already embarrassed enough, thank you so much.
19. “You get benefits though don’t you, nice to have some spare money!”
No, I don’t get benefits and it would be a lot nicer to not have a ticking time bomb in my head ensuring I can’t talk properly, walk properly, eat, sleep, or have at least 12 Emotional / mood swings a day because it affects everything.
**************************************************************************. * Person to my parent or anybody else close to me behind my back *. “Should she be doing that?!”
ASK ME I AM THE ONE WITH CANCER, NOBODY CAN ANSWER FOR ME. AND IF YOU’RE TOO AFRAID TO ASK ME – YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE ASKING IT !!!
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