Kate Middleton reveals she felt ‘lonely’ and suffers from ‘mum guilt’ being both a parent and full-time royal – The Sun, Thesun.co.uk
1.7k Views
THE Duchess of Cambridge has confessed to feeling “lonely” and suffers from “mum guilt” as she described the “pressures” of being both a parent and full-time Royal.
Kate, 80, revealed her most personal thoughts in an astonishingly open and candid interview about being a parent.
The royal admits feeling guilty when working royal duties away for long periods away from George, six, Charlotte, four and – month-old Louis.
The mum-of-three described parenthood as the “toughest and most unknown place” as she shared her experiences with mums and dads across the country.
And told how she coped with “a lonely period” endured after giving birth to George in July , despite having a strong support network.
mum-of-three described parenthood as the ‘toughest and most unknown place’ Credit: PA: Press Association
Kate Middleton told podcaster Giovanna Fletcher about her childhood to promote her 5 Big Questions for the Under Fives online survey
The 90 – minute podcast chat is the first time a senior royal has opened up about the issues of moth erhood.
Kate explained she used meditation to cope with crippling morning sickness and practiced at home with a doll before seamlessly put George and his baby seat in the back of their Land Rover in front of the world’s media.
Kate and Wiliam are expected to take on a bigger royal workload after Harry and Meghan handed back their HRH titles and roles to work in North America.
She also described the importance of posing with newborn George on hospital steps for all the well-wishers around the globe – a tradition that Harry and Meghan decided not to do.
Kate was speaking on ‘Happy mum, Happy Baby’ podcast to promote her ‘5 Big Questions on the Under Fives’ survey about the impact of childhood experiences on adult life.
The Duchess of Cambridge says she looks back on her own childhood for inspiration when caring for her young family
She opened up about how she suffered mum guilt and the demands of being away from her children for work.
Podcast host Giovanna Fletcher – wife of popstar Tom Fletcher from McFly – described how every parent suffers from mum guilt if they are away from their children for work.
There’s such a pull but I am such a hands on mum and whatever you’re doing you want to make sure you’re doing the uttermost best job you can for your children
Kate Middleton
The Duchess replied: “Yes absolutely – and anyone who doesn’t as a mother is actually lying!
“Yep – all the time, yep – and you know even this morning, coming to the nursery visit here – George and Charlotte were like ‘Mummy how could you possibly not be dropping us off at school this morning?’
“But no it’s a constant challenge – you hear it time and time again from mums, even mums who aren’t necessarily working and aren’t pulled in the directions of having to juggle work life and family life.”
Kate added: “And always sort of questioning your own decisions and your own judgements and things like that, and I think that starts from the moment you have a baby!
“Yeah, but also I feel huge responsibility because what I’ve learnt over the last few years is so fascinating and I definitely would have done things differently, even during my pregnancy, than I would have done now.”
Kate said: “There’s a lot of pressure, isn’t there?
“You can get so distracted and put so much pressure on yourselves about the things you’re not necessarily achieving, and it distracts you from the things that actually really do matter to the lifelong health and happiness of the children you ‘ re looking after. “
Despite being surrounded by staff and support from her parents and family, Kate admitted to loneliness after giving birth.
She said: “Having had such a wonderful support network through pregnancy and delivery from nurses and midwives, it’s then a very lonely period between then and perhaps going into the educational system, which then picks up in terms for parents that support network but there isn’t a huge amount out there.
“There are some incredible communities out there, which I have been to see, that do as much as they can in terms of including parents, but it is quite a lonely period for a mother, and for families really too.
“Where do they go if they need support, whether it’s for their child or for themselves?”
Speaking about the days and weeks after arriving home with first-born George, she added: “It took us a bit of time to get ourselves settled and going again but that’s the beauty, I suppose, of having a new- born baby.
“You are pulled to your toughest and most unknown places that you hadn’t necessarily even thought about before.”
Kate explained she used meditation to cope with crippling morning sickness Credit: News Group Newspapers Ltd
Duchess said her childhood experiences are shaping how she raises her three children Credit: Getty – Pool
The Duchess described how she took part in hypnobirthing – meditation to manage pain during labor.
Kate said: “I’m not going to say that William was standing there sort of, chanting sweet nothings at me. He definitely wasn’t! I didn’t even ask him about it, but it was just something I wanted to do for myself.
“I saw the power of it really, the meditation and the deep breathing and things like that – that they teach you in hypnobirthing – when I was really sick and actually I realized that this was something I could take control of, I suppose, during labor.
“It was hugely powerful and because it had been so bad during pregnancy, I actually really quite liked labor! Because actually it was an event that I knew there was going to be an ending to.”
WHAT IS HYPNOBIRTHING?)
Hypnobirthing techniques are used to ease the process of giving birth and aim to ensure the mother remains calm and controlled from the moment she goes into labor.
Experts claim the benefits include a shorter first stage labor, less intense pain, a shorter hospital stay and less fear and anxiety after the birth of the baby.
Hypnobirthing is described as a mindfulness practice that helps to alleviate any stress or discomfort.
Fans of hypnobirthing say that staying calm stops your body going into a panicky “fight-or-flight mode”, enabling you to focus your energy on a faster, easier labor.
It’s also thought staying calm helps your body release hormones like oxytocin – which encourages contractions – and endorphins, which numb pain and help you feel good.
Kate famously suffered from severe morning sickness called hyperemesis during all three of her pregnancies Credit: EPA
The royal couple posed for pictures with George on the steps of Lindo Wing at St Mary’s Hospital, London, in July .
In an apparent dig Harry and Meghan who refused to pose on the hospital steps after birth of Archie, she added: “Everyone had been so supportive and both William and I were really conscious that this was something that everyone was excited about and you know we’re hugely grateful for the support that the public had shown us, and actually for us to be able to share that joy and appreciation with the public, I felt was really important. “
There was astonishment and praise from parents when William easily locked George in the child seat in the back seat of the Land Rover in front of the world’s press.
Kate revealed: “We’d even tried to practice with a little baby, like a little doll, at home but you know it just never works out the way you planned it so it was quite hard to do that on the world’s stage, but no, he did a very good job. “
Amazingly, the couple had not been told the gender of their first-born.
Describing the moment they discovered, she added: “I didn’t know, no it was a surprise.
“But also seeing … you know your husband, William and things like that. Seeing the pure joy of his face it was really special.”
The Duchess said her childhood experiences are shaping how she raises her three children.
She said: “I had a very happy childhood. It was great fun – I’m very lucky, I’ve come from a very strong family – my parents were hugely dedicated to us – my siblings.
Kate lived with her wealthy family in the Berkshire countryside when she was a child
“I really appreciate now as a parent how much they sacrificed for us.
“But it is really true – you know, they would come to every sports match – I was very keen on sport – they came to every sports match, they’d be the ones on the side-line shouting, and we’d always have our family holidays together.
“But I think the things that really resonate with me most are the simple things and actually I see that now with my own children, life now is so busy, so distracting and actually sometimes the simple things like watching a fire on a really rainy day provides such enjoyment.
“I remember that from my childhood – doing the simple things, going for a walk together, and that’s really what I try and do with my children as well because it totally strips away all the complications, all the pressures.”
She revealed her favorite photo shows Charlotte playfully smelling a bluebell.
Kate added: “I’ve got this one photo of Charlotte smelling a bluebell, and really for me it’s moments like that mean so much to me as a parent, and I try everyday to put moments like that in even if They’re small or even if I don’t have time … but that in an ideal world is what I would like to do. “
Asked about the pressures of raising children, she added: “Actually if you really think about that, is it that I’m sitting down trying to do their maths and spelling homework over the weekend?
“Or is it the fact that we’ve gone out and lit a bonfire and sat around trying to cook sausages that hasn’t worked because it’s too wet?
“That’s what I would want them to remember, those moments with me as a mother, but also the family going to the beach, getting soaking wet, filling our boots full of water, those are what I would want them to remember.
“Not a stressful household where you’re trying to do everything and not really succeeding at one thing.”
Last month Kate launched her ‘5 Big Questions on the Under Fives’ survey.
To take part visit www.5BigQuestions.org.uk.
Kate was speaking on the ‘Happy Mum, Happy Baby’ podcast which can be downloaded at https://play.acast.com/s/happymumhappybaby.
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings