The Principle of Happiness – Andrew Zhenghan

H = S + C + V

Lasting happiness = scope of happiness + living conditions + controllable factors

H stands for lasting happiness, or the durability of happiness.

Why did Seligman place special emphasis on the dimension of “persistence” when defining “happiness”? This is because only lasting happiness reflects the true level of happiness. You can imagine happiness as a river. Lasting happiness is the true water level of the river, while temporary happiness is like wind and waves, which will only make the river surface fluctuate up and down near the water level.

A delicious meal, a funny comedy, a bouquet of flowers, a kind word, these are temporary happiness. They can only bring us fleeting mood swings. We are happy for a while, but soon our mood will return to normal. This is because people have a common psychological mechanism, which is called the “thermostat effect” in psychology.

You can think of happiness as a temperature indicator on a thermostat with a needle that always points to the middle. Occasionally when something particularly happy happens, our pointer will swing violently to the side of happiness, but it will soon return to where it was. Because of the “thermostat effect”, people who pursue happiness are like running continuously on a treadmill. They continue to work hard to gain more wealth and higher status, but their happiness always goes back and forth at the original level. fluctuation.

So what should we do if we want to achieve lasting happiness?

In Seligman's happiness formula, there are three letters on the right side of the equal sign, S, C and V, which are the scope of happiness, living conditions and controllable factors. Within these three elements lies the secret to our lasting happiness.

• The scope of happiness is genetically determined, and living conditions contribute very little to happiness, so all we can really control is how we feel about the past, present, and future.
• We can look at the past positively through gratitude and forgiveness; we can also stay optimistic and face the future positively through self-refutation. As for the present, Seligman gave a tip: Only by giving up easy pleasure and pursuing elusive satisfaction can you experience the happiness of the present to the maximum extent.

S represents the scope of happiness. The so-called “scope of happiness” refers to a person's innate sensitivity to happiness.

• Some people are very sensitive to happiness. They feel very happy when they encounter something good, and their happiness can last for a long time.
• Some people are very insensitive to happiness. Even if they achieve high achievements and receive big rewards, they will only make a little bit of waves in their hearts.

The personality of happiness is largely caused by genes, and the part that can be changed is very limited.

• First, everyone's perception of happiness has a relatively fixed range. Seligman's original words are “Half of your happiness is determined by genes.”
• Second, even people who are not very sensitive to happiness can achieve happiness. They can not only turn their personality traits into career advantages, but also find a partner who is in tune with them.

Back to our happiness formula, H=S+C+V. Lane's story explains the meaning of the first letter S on the right side of the formula, which is the scope of happiness: innate conditions determine the upper limit of a person's happiness. On the basis of this innate condition, the next two letters C and V can help us improve our happiness.

These letters seem to be quite complicated going around. Let me give you an analogy and you will understand: our happiness is like a reservoir. The more water in the pond, the happier we are.

The S I just mentioned is the “range of happiness”, which is like the size of a pool. This factor is determined innately. Different people are born with different pool sizes. For someone like Wren, who is extremely insensitive to happiness, his pool is only about half the size of an average person's.

But don’t worry too much, because the remaining two letters C and V are like two pipes filling the pool. Grasp these two factors, fill your pool full, and you will have a lot of wealth. Happy life.

The letter C represents living conditions. Specifically, dimensions such as wealth, marital status, social life, age, health, education, etc.

It sounds like these conditions are closely related to our happiness. After all, we all envy those who are rich, young, healthy, well-educated, and have families. But do these conditions really make us happier? Seligman tested these conditions one by one.

• The first is wealth. Psychologists conducted a wide-ranging study, looking for more than 1,000 research subjects in each of 40 countries to investigate the relationship between their happiness and purchasing power. The conclusion is not surprising: overall, people in countries with greater purchasing power are happier. But this is not over yet, psychologists also discovered that,Once the annual national income crosses the threshold of US$8,000 per capita, earning more money will not help improve happiness.. in other words,Having money can indeed make us live happier, but the happiness that money can buy is very limited.. In addition to cross-country comparisons, a study conducted within the United States also reached similar conclusions. Researchers have found that Americans struggling below the poverty line are indeed very unhappy, but as long as they have enough food and clothing, an increase in money will have little help in improving their happiness. The happiness of the top 100 rich Americans on the Forbes rich list is only slightly higher than that of ordinary Americans.

Regarding the relationship between wealth and happiness, Seligman has an insight. He said: “Your views on money actually affect your happiness more than money itself.” No matter which class you are in, people who care more about money , the more dissatisfied they are with their own income and the lower their happiness. Compared with an upstart who has just entered the rich circle and is under tremendous pressure to compare, a poor person who is content with poverty is much happier.

• Next, let’s take a look at the impact of marriage on happiness. Very different from the situation with money, statistics show thatThere is a strong correlation between marriage and happiness. A research organization in the United States has conducted a continuous survey of more than 35,000 people for 30 years. Among them, 40% of married people said they were “very happy”, while only 24% of unmarried, divorced, separated and widowed people said they were “very happy”. People think they are happy, and the gap between the two is very obvious.
• Seligman also found thatPeople with a rich social life will also have a stronger sense of happiness. However, Seligman is a rigorous scholar, and he understands that there is no clear cause-and-effect relationship between marriage and social life and happiness. Does marriage and social life enhance happiness, or are happy people more likely to get married and make friends? This requires further research to demonstrate.
• Does age have an impact on happiness? We all yearn for youth, but are young people really happier than old people? Psychologists surveyed 60,000 adults in 40 countries and found that:As age increases, people's happiness shows an upward trend.Compared with young people, the elderly have smaller mood swings. They rarely feel ecstatic or despairing. Their happiness is stable at a slightly higher level than young people.

Seligman also analyzed the effects of health, education, race, gender, and the climate where you live on happiness. The results were surprising: these conditions had only a minimal impact on happiness:

• Only very serious illnesses reduce people's happiness. For those who were optimistic, even in the final stages of cancer, their happiness was similar to that of healthy people.
• Educated people are no happier than illiterate people.
• Nor are people who live in warm, sunny areas any happier than those who live in colder climes.
• Generally speaking, ethnic minorities in the United States do have lower levels of happiness than white people, but their rates of depression are also much lower than white people.
• In addition, there is basically no difference in the average level of happiness between men and women.

After analyzing this step, we can draw an overall conclusion. In Seligman's happiness formula, how much impact does the second letter C on the right, which is living conditions, have on our happiness? Seligman synthesized all the data we just mentioned and calculated a result. He said that the impact of C is between 8% and 15%. In other words, wealth, marriage, social interaction, age, and health are all factors that come to mind when we think of happiness. Unexpectedly, together they would only have about 10% impact on our happiness. And if we want to obtain these conditions, the costs we need to spend are not small. No matter how many people put in their lifelong efforts, they may not be able to improve these conditions to what extent.

How can lasting happiness be obtained? When it comes to happiness, what is it that we can truly control?

In Seligman's happiness formula, only the last letter V is left. This letter represents the factors that we can really control. Fortunately, as long as we control this factor, our happiness can be maintained. At a relatively high level. However, to master this factor, we need to learn some skills and put in real effort.

Ultimately, happiness is an inner experience.If we want to have lasting happiness, we have to start from within ourselves。

Seligman proposed that our sense of well-being is made up of three sets of positive emotions. These three sets of positive emotions are about the past, the present, and the future.

The reason for dividing according to time is that our feelings about the past, present and future are independent of each other. A person can be full of resentment about the past, but feel happy in the present and full of hope for the future. Or he can feel proud when mentioning the past, but be dissatisfied with the present and pessimistic about the future.

Seligman believes that as long as we adjust our feelings about the past, present and future in a positive direction, we can keep our happiness at its highest point.

How to view the past positively?

How can we look at the past positively? Seligman's basic attitude was: “Let bygones be bygones.”

Don’t think this is a light statement. Before the establishment of positive psychology, the mainstream view of the past in psychology has always been to “hold on to the past.” In the past, when psychiatrists provided treatment, they mainly used methods to guide patients to talk about their past pain and let them release suppressed emotions. This method is indeed effective, but it places high demands on the professional ability of doctors. With a little carelessness, patients may fall into intense negative emotions, which may even harm their health.

According to Seligman,“If we cannot be grateful and appreciate the good times in the past, but instead exaggerate and dwell on the misfortunes of the past,” we will never be happy. To view the past positively, we need to learn to be grateful and forgive.This is because gratitude can magnify the good parts of a memory, while forgiveness can help us unburden ourselves of painful memories.。

Let’s talk about gratitude first. Ligman believes that the relationship between gratitude and happiness is simple and direct. He provides us with two methods:

• The first way is to express your gratitude in person to someone you truly appreciate.
• The second method is to write yourself a gratitude journal. In the next two weeks, you can take five minutes every night before going to bed to briefly record what happened during the day, and then start a new line and write down five things that you think you are grateful for in your life. These five things are not limited to this day. You can be grateful for your favorite band in the world, grateful for your good health, and grateful for the life your parents gave you.

Next, let’s talk about forgiveness. Here I first want to explain that forgiveness is not about affirming those who have hurt you in the past; forgiveness is just to change your feelings about the past and help you let go of the burden in your heart. Forgiveness is not easy, after all, it requires us to face the pain of the past. Fortunately, psychologists have also proposed systematic methods to teach us how to forgive without getting stuck in painful memories.

The key here is that you try to describe the facts of the past as objectively as possible, and don't demonize the person who hurt you, thinking that he is very vicious and powerful. Such a person is likely to have a tragic weakness, or simply be confused and act foolishly. I say this not to make excuses for those who hurt you, but to let you understand that your opponent is weak and your happiness should not be compromised because of such a person.

A psychologist at Stanford University held a forgiveness workshop to teach people to rewrite sad stories from an objective standpoint, and finally forgive or forget as much as possible. It was found that after such practice, people's anger and tension were reduced, and their happiness was also improved.

Gratitude and forgiveness can help us magnify the good things in our past and erase painful memories.This way we can look at the past in a positive light。

Next, let’s talk about how to look at the future positively.

How to view the future positively?

Positive psychology believes that the most important positive attitude about the future is optimism. Optimistic people are full of hope for the future, can quickly cheer up when they are hit, and can perform well even when faced with challenging tasks. In addition, optimism can make us healthier. In a word,If we want to improve our happiness, we need to be optimistic about the future。

Speaking of optimism, you may think of the widely circulated story: There is a half-full glass of water on the table. A pessimistic person will say, What a pity, there is only half a glass left; and an optimistic person will say, It’s really good, it’s still half full. There's half a cup. In fact, from the perspective of positive psychology, this story is far from reflecting the essence of optimism.

• Optimistic people do not always interpret reality in a positive way, and they do not shy away from it if it is negative. The fundamental difference between optimists and pessimists lies in their expectations for the future.
• Pessimistic people believe that the bad things that happen to them are permanent and the suffering in life is unchangeable because “the world is like this” and “I am like this”; while in the eyes of optimists, unfortunate events are only temporary and By chance, the background of life is always gorgeous and beautiful.

Understanding the difference between optimism and pessimism, what we have to do is to constantly correct our pessimistic thoughts, and refute them once they arise. This method sounds interesting. How can we refute our own point of view?

Seligman mentioned four counterarguments:

• The first is evidence. Whenever you have pessimistic thoughts, ask yourself, is there any evidence for this thought? Sometimes our mood hits rock bottom and we feel that the future is bleak. At this time, ask yourself quickly, what evidence is there to prove that things will continue to get worse? You will soon realize that you are scaring yourself, and your pessimistic thoughts will be self-defeating.
• The second is to look for other possible explanations. When we encounter a setback, for example, the leader criticizes you more harshly than usual, you may fall into pessimism and wonder whether you have messed up and whether you will not be reused in the future. At this time, please calm down and think about why the leader spoke in a stronger tone this time. Maybe he just encountered other troubles today? Maybe he did this to move the work forward faster? Maybe he wants to remind you to correct your work habits? Since there are so many possible explanations, why choose the most destructive one to undermine your self-confidence?
• Third, ask yourself: “So what?” Even if the negative conclusion you draw is correct, it may not have serious consequences. A heated argument does not mean the relationship is broken, and a failed business deal does not mean the failure of the career. No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be overcome.
• Fourth, ask yourself, can this pessimistic thought bring you any benefits? Holding on to negative thoughts will only make us exhausted and lose the motivation to continue. If we really want to solve a problem, we should focus on the things we can change and actually make changes.

That's Seligman's approach to looking proactively at the future: Stay optimistic by countering your own pessimistic thoughts. Finally, let’s look at how to have a positive experience in the present moment?

Lizards teach us to live in the moment

Seligman answered this question with an interesting story.

He said that one of his teachers, Julian Janis, kept a lizard in his laboratory. The lizard was brought back from the Amazon rainforest. During the first few weeks after moving into the laboratory, it ate nothing and was about to starve to death. Janis tried feeding it all kinds of food, but in the end he could only worry. One day, Janis bought a ham sandwich. He read the newspaper while eating, and after reading it, he casually placed the newspaper on his half-eaten sandwich. Unexpectedly, the lizard suddenly jumped up, crawled on the floor, jumped on the newspaper, tore a hole in the newspaper, and ate the sandwich with big mouthfuls. It turns out that this kind of lizard has evolved a special habit. It must sneak up and attack first, and then tear the food into pieces before eating.

What does Seligman want to tell us with this story? In fact, the behavior of lizards is a simple model for us to obtain happiness. Food directly obtained will not activate its appetite, only objects that need to be preyed on can arouse its interest.

We humans have similar psychological mechanisms.Eating sweets and watching short videos are entertainment activities that have no threshold and can only bring us short-term and superficial pleasure. Only when we face challenges that require us to use our skills and put in our efforts can we experience a deeper sense of satisfaction.Giving up cheap pleasures and pursuing laborious satisfaction may sound a bit outweighing the benefits, but in fact, this is the most important way for us to obtain positive experiences in the present.。