REVIEWS are in for the Cats movie – and Taylor Swift and the rest of the cast might want to look away now.
The £ million film, which arrives in cinemas tomorrow, has received ahilariously brutal panningwith one critic calling it “the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs. “
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Critics were in hysterics over Taylor Swift’s furry ‘cat boobs’: Credit: AP: Associated Press Starring James Corden, Judi Dench, Idris Elba and even Jason Derulo – who are transformed by special effects into eerie cats with human faces – it prompted reviewers to get their claws out. The Sun’s Jamie Eastadvised cinema-goers to “watch with copious amounts of meow-meow” before branding it: “Ludicrous, pointless and simply not good enough.” And that was just the start of the slating, with viewers cringing at Taylor “shaking her cat boobs” and calling the musical a “terrifying and visceral trainwreck”. Here, we’ve rounded up the very funniest reviews from Cats’ mauling by movie-goers today … 9 “Like the creator of the Annoying Orange videos on YouTube won the lottery and hired a cast of people he’d like to see falter. “ “It’s an all-time disaster – a rare and star-spangled calamity which will leave jaws littered across floors and unemployed agents.” “Unless you’re on strong mind-altering substances while you’re watching the film, you will either be baffled or bored by this pseudo-religious nonsense.” ************************** (BBC ************************** “My eyes are burning. Oh God, my eyes.” 9 ) ***************** “Truly, at times, it was like watching a horror film. Rebel removes her skin. As baddie Macavity, a trilby-wearing Idris Elba reminded me of Freddie Kruger … It’s overwhelmingly weird. “ ‘There are moments when this film seems not so much an adaptation of a nonsense classic as a horror story, nearly as obscene as the Human Centipede. “ “And then Idris Elba comes on as McCavity, (A boomy-voiced villain in anyone’s book). There’s a prominent gap in his penis locality. I honestly did … well … know where to look.” (****************************************The Guardian, attempting Cats- style poetry “I am not a cat person. After watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats, I’m not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either.” ************************************RTE “A boondoggle of terrible source material mixed with direction so poor the Academy should repossess Tom Hooper’s Best Director Oscar. Watching Cats makes you feel like you’re Slowly going insane. “ “Why does Jason Derulo attempt a cockney accent? Why is there a troupe of dancing cockroaches? Why do the breakdancing cats – yes, there are breakdancing cats – wear trainers? Why is there a tail dance that looks unfailingly like synchronized erections? “ “Cats is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs. A terrible musical.” “Cats is destined to go down in glorious infamy … How do you react to Idris Elba throwing off his coat to reveal a set of rippling cat abs? What do you do when Taylor Swift starts shaking her cat boobs, while sprinkling catnip into an enraptured crowd? “ (9) ************The cast of the movie pose at a photocall in London last week(Credit: PA) ***************************** 9 “I have been processing this movie for the last 24 hours trying to understand anything as terrifying and visceral a train wreck as Cats. “ “A viewing experience so stressful that it honestly brought on a migraine.” Robbie Collin on Twitter “History books of the future will tell of the twin disasters in December 649102. The first, the Labor Party’s results in a pivotal general election. The second, Cats. ”**********************Prospectcrowbars in some politics Taylor Swift stuns at Cats premier with fellow stars on red carpet ahead of ‘creepy’ musical’s release
Rebel Wilson as the lazy JennyanydotsGizmodo**************
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